Why Lydia Didn't Totally Hate Fireproof

Dear Lydia,

This is the least necessary review I will ever write on NTC. If there's one movie you won't ever watch because you have no expectation of liking it, it's Fireproof. But here we are.

Except, wait. Unless I'm mistaken, there's one thing you liked. If you're like me, and I suspect in your unwillingness to pay money to see this movie you are, you watched it on Youtube. So you probably noticed at some point that the videos average about 120,000 views. Most of the feedback is positive and deeply religious.

As far as I can tell, that means about 120,000 Christians stole this movie.

Sincerely,

Kristin

I have lost predictions.

Because I'm watching it months after everyone has moved on. At the close of season 2, these are my predictions:

The island is more densely populated than their original destination of LA. Sun establishes a community garden, designs well protected green space, and a new school district is proposed to accommodate the island’s growing child population.

Jack continues to Deliver Lines With Intensity, often to the point of being a raving jackass (apologies), after which he cries to remind us he is sensitive, and has been hurt.

More survivors admit that they, too, have killed a man. Kate and Sawyer feel threatened, and he begins to sacrifice a baby polar bear hourly to maintain his current rep as bad boy. Kate disapproves as sexily as is humanly possible.

Locke continues to be the best character, for which the writers heap and unbelievable amount of misfortune on him via flashbacks.

Among these misfortunes are 5 car accidents, 2 freak hanggliding mishaps, a one night stand who steals his other kidney, and a bullet to the spinal cord, none of which explains his paralysis.

Hurley continues to be overweight, which means everything that happens to him is funny, even when it’s tragic.

10 percent of the survivors continue to make the decisions for the other 90. The death toll of the other 90% is remarkably high, but they remain incredibly grateful.

In a shocking revelation of interconnectedness among seeming strangers, every living soul on the island has a photo of the same aunt Clara in his or her pocket. Flashback: family reunion, 1982.

I link everyone to the Gashlycrumb Losties via every possible social networking forum I can find.

[photo: Locke hears my pleas and kills almost everyone on the island. The next 3 seasons are his and Hurley's voice overs as they live out their days in peace. This is a fantasy, not a prediction.]

Sex in the City II

I often vow to pretend a movie doesn't happen and then post a link here to a snarky review of it. Turns out I value cattiness over stoic maturity anyday. With that in mind, visit Miss Maggie Mayhem for a real hit and run of Sex in the City II. A preview:

I’m positively fascinated by this film because somehow a group of people got together and created something that everyone can be sincerely self-righteous about from the comfort of their home...If you screened this film for an audience composed entirely of sex-positive radicals and neo-conservatives they would all have something to talk about over drinks together. On the day this film was released, America was somehow truly united.

And a side note: with some exceptions I like how Sex in the City fetishized fasion. I really do--weird I know. But it made me think about fashion, which I value (even if it often was to shriek in shock that anyone would ever wear such a thing). When I saw SitCI I went for the clothes, but was so horrified by the content I had to swear off. So, I'm feeling vicariously superior via other blogs.

Second side note: MMM's blog is not workplace appropriate. Not even a little.