Ecclesiastes 1:9

Well, in the last twenty four hours, I have watched these movies, and I have nothing interesting to say about any of them:
Prom Night (1980)
April Fool’s Day (2008)
The Omen (1976)
Shutter (2004)
When A Stranger Calls (2006)

Although Prom Night turns out not to be the original movie upon which Prom Night 2008 was based, I feel this list makes King Solomon’s argument that there is nothing new under the sun, at least if he was talking about American movies made in the first decade of the new millennium (which, okay, I guess he wasn’t).

April Fool’s Day does go ahead and give credit to the writers of the 1986 movie, although from what I remember of the previous version, it is an entirely different story.

I’ve never seen the original version of When A Stranger Calls. The scariest thing about the 2006 version was when she opened the fridge and there were all these cans of soda, which made me want a soda, badly enough that I decided to walk down the block to the machine. When I got back, the second lock on my door – which I never lock – was locked! Possibly there is a scary stranger in my house as I type this and I will be brutally murdered in front of the open window before morning! Aren’t you scared? Yeah, me neither.

Here is what I think about Shutter: Joshua Jackson is adorable and charming and sexy for no discernible reason. I have a Joshua Jackson problem. I can’t explain it. Nothing stands out about the movie except that I want to make out with his stupid scruffy face all the time, even when he plays some totally worthless schmuck, which is always. (Wait, Fletch? Really?)