Big Love

In keeping with my attempts to wrap up everything I said I'd do this summer, today I finished watching Big Love. The series sort of finished behind my back, and even though it looks like a lot of people were debating the series finale online, I somehow missed the discussion, and had to catch up. So, to add to the rabble just a bit too late, here are my thoughts:

First, lot of people complained about the show's climax. I will not be one of them. If I learned one thing from Jurassic Park, it's that the enemy you have most to fear is not the one before you, but the one that lies in wait hidden. So it is with dinosaurs and so it shall ever be with politics.

Though I'm not sure I'd go so far as to call Big Love "thought provoking," I have to admit to feeling the final season left me with a lot to think about. I'm not one to object to plural marriage. I tend to think marriage should be left entirely to churches, and that definitions about who can constitute a single marital unit should be defined by those particular groups, leaving the government out of it except in investigating abuses. So I didn't expect that I would be one to feel judgmental about the relationships bridging Bill, Barb, Nicki, and Margene. I realized as I watched the series conclude that I'm totally wrong about this. I've been consistently waiting for this marriage to fail. I've seen Nicki as the Villain, Margene as the Victim, and Barb as the Real Wife. I saw Barb as trapped in a house of crazy people because of a bad decision made on her death bed; I saw Margene abused by a motley crew of people who couldn't possibly love her; I hated Nicki without much thought.

The final two seasons and the final episode really changed my perspective. This show was never about Bill and his bed-hopping; it was always about a very delicate, if sometimes dreadful, relationship between the three principle women. Barb sacrifices monogamy, but she doesn't lose Bill. Nicki is hateful, yes, but Barb loves her anyway. Margene sacrifices absolutely everything, but she gains a family in return. These three sister wives are less sisters and more one another's wives, and I think beyond all of the drama on the compound, this show actually did a great job of showing what a successful marriage might look like between three people. I say three and not four because Bill, in my estimation, fails where his wives succeed. He makes no compromises, lives only for his own vision, and thus cheats himself and those around him of the rich relationship that results from continual mutual grown and accomodation. I suspect from the series finale that the writers felt this too and saw a real need to turn the focus to Barb, Nicki, and Margene.

I also feel a weird disconnect between where the show left off--with polygamy newly highlighted as a debate in American politics--and where we actually live, in a nation happy to praise the characters on this show (as they do--in countless comments sections of episode reviews, and on message boards about the show), but not to rethink our legal ban of the practice. So, Big Love has finished, as has the Warren Jeffs trial. It's the end of an era. I have absolutely no idea what I'll pay attention to now when I want plural marriage scandals, or gratuitous compound footage. Cheers to you, Big Love. Thanks for keeping Chloe Sevigne away from upsetting movies like Gummo, at least part time.*

*But, did it? Apparently she made a Herzog movie** at the same time.

**I might have to see that.